Yifan’s Head was Hurt

Sept 10 is a bad day. Bad day!

Yifan fell over, and hurt his head at 8:00 this morning. We sent him to hospital and have doctor sutured the wound. My heart was completely broken. The wound was about 1cm long on Yifan’s forehead, and took 5 surgical sewing.

This is the toughest day for me in the recent years. I worry so much that there will be a scar left on Yifan’s head. We tried everything we can to avoid that. But nothing is really that helpful after it happened.

Although I read a lot about happiness (and sadness), the theories just cannot help myself out from the deep pain. I complained myself not to take care of Yifan better to avoid it (Ayi brought Yifan out, and he fell – why I didn’t go with them?). I asked the question why it happens to Yifan. I wake up from deep thoughts in meetings wondering whether it happened or not.

For the first time, I realized that it is completely a different thing of hurting myself, and see my son hurt. The later is much more painful than doing it to myself.

I know it is not that a big deal – many people told me that it is so common to little boys, but I just cannot accept it. It is so painful to see the scar on the Yifan’s head – what a lovely, perfect boy. I saw him arriving to this world with my own eyes. What a perfect gift but I didn’t protect him well.

Yifan, I am sorry.

11 thoughts on “Yifan’s Head was Hurt

  1. Lee Rosenberg

    You should not be sad, be happy that all it was was a simple cut. the scar when he grows up will add to his manliness and he will have that rugged look

  2. Adam

    Hope you would become a little happier after hearing this:

    I fell over at the age of two. Worse than Yifan’s cut, it was on my eyebrow. The scar has disappeared now, but it left a gap in my eyebrow. I guess my parents got the same feeling at that time as you are sufferring from now. But I myself never felt it’s a big deal. And I have married a beautiful wife.

    P.S.

    Maybe you didn’t, but I’d still like to mention it, just in rare case: Don’t blame your ayi too much.

  3. cheery

    建硕,你好,

    我非常理解你的心情,在2008年5月4日,我要我最好的朋友骑车载我,刚坐上去,后面一辆车冲过来,把她的眼睛撞碎了,她的眼睛下面划了约5厘米的口子,不停的流血。

    送她到医院后,看到她在手术室里缝针,我当时完全崩溃了,我非常自责,她是我最好的朋友,我觉得一切都是我的错,我最担心的是,她的眼睛下会留疤,她当时正研二,马上找工作了。

    我完全自责,担心,完全的崩溃了。

    还有糟糕的是,当时我太悲痛和自责,那个肇事者留下手机后,就再也联系不到了。后来我曾去报案,一定要找出来这个人,但是,没有成功。那时,我初到北京1个月。

    我深深自责很久,完全不能脱离出来。我甚至想到死。那是我最低沉的时刻。

    幸运的是,我的好朋友痊愈的很好,很长很深的口子,在眼睛下面,很险的地方,但是,完全没有留疤,

    我才好过了一点点。我的其他好友甚至买了遮瑕膏,我去上网查了很多资料,但是,通通没有用上。因为,真的是这样,完全没有留疤。所以,请你和Wendy不要太担心。

    其实,到今天,想到这件事,我都很难过。我非常理解你们的心情。

    但是,请不要担心,小逸凡绝对没事的,他一定会痊愈得很好的。

    祝小逸凡一切都好,早日康复。

  4. Carroll

    Poor baby! And poor Father!! You are right that it hurts far more for your child to be hurt than for yourself. But, be prepared for the future, Jian Shuo. There are years of pictures in my photo albums of our children with scrapes and cuts on their faces. It seems that when they are young and full of a desire for adventure, nothing stops them. It’s part of life. You would not want him to be any less curious or confident in his ability to move forward, despite all obstacles. As long as you are there to catch him and patch him up whenever he falls, he will be fine, and someday he will thank you for letting him move forward and explore the world at his own pace unimpeded.

  5. Albert

    I got hurt on the face when I was a little child about 5 years old. It did not leave an obvious scar as I grew up. So, please take care, get out of the useless sadness and do something positive.

  6. Jian Shuo Wang

    Thanks everyone, especially Carroll for sharing your thoughts about things like this. I feel much better after reading the comment. Yes. It is the nature of life, and most parents will go through this. It seems the best thing to do is carefully child proof the house, and environment – to provide safety while don’t constrain child’s need to explore and try.

  7. jqian

    The best care taker for your boy is either your wife or yourself. Nobody else would be as dedicated to him as yourselves.

    No matter how much you would pay your Ayi, she will not be best care taker because he is not her own son. When my children were very young, my wife did not work but stayed home full time to take care of them. If money is not a serious issue to your family, then that might be a right thing to do.

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