What does Happiness Depend on
By Jian Shuo Wang on 2005-03-05 22:45 · HappinessThanks for everyone who posted comments to my entry Helping by Hiring. There are 38 very high quality comments in the discussion about the social welfare system in China. I am very happy that my article draws some attention to Ayi who badly needs help. I will continue to monitor and see if there is opportunity I can help. I am working on a website to help people to hire an Ayi so to create more opportunities for them.
At the same time, I am thinking about the question: “Are we happier than them?” We refers to the circle I am in - my colleagues and my friends who have university degrees and earn well. Them means people who have very low income, like Ayi.
The answer is obvious. But sometimes, it may not be the only answer. My question can be paraphrased as “Will money and education bring happiness after the basic living is covered?”
Shanghai is the Second Unhappiest City in China
As the report figured out, people in Shanghai generally are not happy. It is very true.
Over-Time
Over-time working is common in IT and Media (advertisement) industry, and not rare in other industry as well. Get up early, go to work, go back home after 11:00 PM or even 1:00 AM, sleep, and go to work… The most interesting part is that, when we gather, people like to show off of how late they work. It is a symbol of exciting life and a sense of achievement.
To survive in Shanghai is not easy. Wait a minute. A sentence painted on the wall of the transition hub of the World Trade Center site in New York just jump out of my head: Man who can survive in New York can survive anywhere in the world. Didn’t we sense more pride instead of sadness in this sentence? It is the same in Shanghai.
Compeition and Education
Students on campus are preparing for TOFEL, GRE, TOIEC.
My friends in a team are working hard to pass MCSE, MCSD and all kinds of certificates.
People who already worked for some years study to pass PMP, ITLE. People get one certificate after the other and still keep asking: “Is there any other hot certificate I can pass?”
For senior managers, they have started their MBA or EMBA courses. It is hot in Shanghai. The 290,000 RMB annual tuition for Fudan EMBA does not stop people joining the program.
No one in this city can escape from the competition. Taxi drivers, for example, are learning English on the day off - remember that they have worked 24 hours continuously and still need to spend several hour to learn English on the 24 hours of break.
Well. Certificate is something you can “shine in the eyes of strangers” (as Wordsworth put it). Strangers certainly include future employers.
Sports? Friends?
I feel very happy and relaxed after Wendy and I just get back from badminton court. We drove 15 minutes to Lujiazui for it. It reminded me that when we lived in Puxi, the badminton court, the swimming pool and all kinds of sport facility were just on the other side of the road - I can even see people playing tennis from my window, we didn’t went there during our two years for sports - I was in the circle to work harder and get more certificate at that time.
In large city like Shanghai, friends are far away. I miss the time in smaller city - my friends live next building with me. There are many friends in the same area. Even the whole city is not far. Now, when I want to visit a friend, he is on the other side of the city and it costs at least 1 hour’s drive. I am not happy about it.
A Family of Life-destroying Emotions in City
Alain de Botton commented about the city life in his the Art of Travel:
The poet (Wordsworth) accused cities of fostering a family of life-destroying emotions: anxiety about our position in the social hierarchy, envy at the success of others, pride and desire to shine in the eyes of strangers. City dwellers had no perspective, he alleged, they were in thrall to what was spoken of in the street or at the dinner table. However well provided for, they had a relentless desire for new things, which they did not genuinely lack and on which their happiness did not depend. Andy in this crowded, anxious sphere, it seems harder than it did on an isolated homestead to begin sincere relationship with others.
It is admirably to the point. We change mobile everyday, we buy many goods that poor people cannot buy, but it has nothing to do with our happiness. As de Botton or Wordsworth put it, our happiness did not depend on those fancy stuff.
Everyone is seeking for something he/she doesn’t actually need to be happy. To rank higher in the hierarchy may not bring more happiness than a shine afternoon tea with friends.
18 Comments
http://www.yesmagazine.org/article.asp?id=866
basically, they correlate only at income levels that are very low (you at the very least need food, housing, etc.), but above a certain level, the return on "happiness" from money doesn't rise very much. If you know computer science, then we can say that it is an "asymptotic function" of income. :-)
Always consider the source and its agenda. Both who wrote it and who is promoting it. ;-)
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Jian,
As for pursuing happiness through wealth, it's a balancing game. Those that only pursue wealth are always working thus not enjoying the fruit of their labor. It takes maturity to understand that you've got to make time for your own happiness and then leave work behind while focusing on fun activities. The idea that you will be less happy the wealthier you are is just a socialist dream. Would you have more fun visiting the playground at a nearby park or hopping around in Disney World?
The thing some people don't realize is that free time is also a sign of wealth. Being able to work only a four-day workweek while still making a good income is a sign of a good life. Then again...
Let us also not be blind to the fact that for some people what they do for their jobs IS what gives them the most joy in life. For these individuals, they've achieved the ultimate. Being paid to do what they enjoy. They're not overworked when that happens. They just need to say to others, "No, this is what I enjoy doing. Be happy for me."
All the above simply takes maturity. If anything people are lacking is maturity. And that's not just as far as their careers go either. Think about it. I'm sure you'll see what I'm talking about. And if you do, you're more mature than those who don't.
Maturity isn't about aging, but reflection. If you never reflect on your actions, you never mature.
For example, I am sure Jian Shuo gets a sense of satisfaction from the sucess of his blog more than money can buy. That's because it's a labor of love. Some of the most successful people I know don't view their work as "work". They will gladly do it for free because of passion. Ironically that passion translates into success and money.
Ciao
First, where the happiness comes from during work? Is it true that in Shanghai people now work in the office till midnight? I had such a work-to-live lifestyle in HK for serveral years. It was a nightmare. But in my experience, overtime, surprisingly, is NOT the main reason. I had no passion or motivation to serve those big big corporate clients and I could not make me believe that I did not work just to make a living. I thought my knowledge, talents or abilities (no matter how little or limited they are) should be utilized for more meaningful work. Also, I did not find those big corporate clients treated me as an individual. I was just a member of another giant name serving their needs, nothing more.
Then, how we get happiness from everyday life? I agree time is a measure of wealth nowadays. I always treature the time I spend with my family, loved ones and friends. I also feel very happy for doing nothing serious (if I have got the luxuary), like looking into the blue sky or watching people walking along the streets. I guess a lot of unhappiness comes from materialism and consumerism, one of evils of capitalism. I feel lucky that I have not fallen to the prey to them so far (at least compared to most of people at my age). Influenced by the false happy feelings created by commercials from everywhere, people are very conscious about brands and believe those advertised goods can bring more happiness and sense of achievement. They are just illusions. But don't get me wrong. I like shopping, especially grocery shopping (no taste?!)and shopping at bookstores. There is nothing wrong with shopping itself (as a result of the division of labor), but you need a little self-discipline and buy what you really need, not you think you may need or just because other people do so.
For a bigger picuture, I believe happiness comes from helping poeple in need and making this world a little better because of your efforts. So things like donation, volunteer work, or helping a stranger find his way home bring great happiness to me.
And if you don't mind, I'd like to add her to my friend links.
Regarding the money issue, we work, make money so we can enjoy our life better! Let's all keep a right priority of life, work is definitely not on the top of list.
It's not a place you reach, or a certificate, or a title. It's the way you feel along the ride.
PS: Nice blog. First time here, but I must say it's enjoyed.
Only by treasuring our present life and be grateful of what we have now could we truly be happy. Just imagine that there are millions of other people in the rest of the world who are worse off.
Just to comment on the blog: what a nice read, keep up the good work!
However, there may be at least one important relationship between money and happiness-- happy people tend to have higher incomes later on in their lives. So, while money may not help make people happy, being happy may help them make money. :)
then we should know religion have strong power influening our life happiness
the easy way to be happy, whatever ur religion, from now believe it....
1) Doing what your morals tell you to do
2) Doing things in line with truth or eternal laws
3) Doing something that you feel helps other people and thinking about their problems
4) Doing better than you have in the past
5) Doing something you feel makes up for past mistakes
6) Make goals and planning them out or working towards them
7) Having realistically low enough expectations of self and others and life events
8) Forgiving others for making mistakes and allowing them to do so
9) Loving other people, making time for and spending time with those you love
10) Choosing to see meaning (or humor) in unwanted events
11) Looking for good in anything that happens to you and others you love
12) Feeling loved and protected by someone (namely God)
13) Remembering and thinking about yours or other's happy events
14) Enjoying little pleasures that you think are a reward for good efforts
15) Recognizing, watching, and contemplating the beauty or simplicities in life
16) Keeping balanced including exercise, study, faith, prayer, laughter, and smiling
17) Remember the good Past while Living in the Present while Planning for the Future
18) Taking frequent but very brief time to eat, dance, fish, read, sew, paint or anything to escape
Just ask any Mormon.