I went to Party World (originally the Cash Box) with the team tonight. OMG. When was my last time to visit Party World? I suspect it was in 2002 – about 9 years ago in Puxing Park. After that, I don’t remember I have went to sing Karaok. It may be too far memory for me.
For the songs, I don’t know most of the songs people sang. “When did this song come out?” Often the answer was “Last year”, or “2008”… I am not interested in songs. Does it mean aging (while, just a little bit?)
Kids
Looking back, there are some big life changer. Having a baby is definitely the biggest change about 4 years ago. That is the good bye to party life, and even to friend’s world. To some extend, that is also the end of the two-person world, and become a one person world – Yifan’s world. Night means at home, seeing Yifan play, and send him to bed. Night, is no longer the time to kill with many different ways.
Marriage
Marriage is another smaller life changer. It means the end of life surrounded with friends (either female or male). It is a new journey. That means most of the friends of both world come to emerge into one big circle – I know many of the friend of Wendy’s and she knows mine, and to find the perfect circle of knowing everyone is harder.
Keep Younger
I am excited to be surrounded with college newly graduate. It was my situation about 12 years ago.
Does it explain why my friends who don’t have a child in their life (late 40s, 50s) are still pretty young? It is not related to physical change – it means people have about 10 years of uninterrupted time of being young, being party animal (when their peers are baby sitting), and be surrounded with really young people (when their peers are surrounded with too young baby).
One question: can people with a kid can still live like those without? Possible?
First golden age in a man’s life: after graduated and before you have child;
Second golden age: after your child graduated and before your child have child;
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I think it is really not possible to maintain the “carefree” lifestyle once children are born. It goes without saying that your first priority is their well-being, and most children do not thrive on late nights of partying, even if their parents have the energy to take them out dancing and drinking at night. the main difference is that new parents are usually so very *tired*! All you want to do is fall into bed yourself once the small children are asleep.
That said, I do know one young couple who was determined not to let the fact of becoming parents slow them down. But instead of partying, they wanted to travel. They took their just months-old baby with them to Nepal to climb a mountain, and of course the infant was the darling of all the Sherpa guides. Later they took him as a toddler to Africa, where he really helped them interact with local people who were all entranced by his blonde curly hair and fair skin. When his sister was born, they traveled to Eastern Europe and Indonesia — again, the children made friends wherever they went. Our young friend “S” who you have met a time or two, is partnered but not married and does not plan to have children. She is extremely happy with their current lifestyle which allows freedom to travel, pursue weekly sports activities, and does not constrain her from staying late for work-related activities whenever she needs and wants to. I know what she is missing, though, and I am so happy that you and Wendy did decide to become parents. There is no greater pleasure in the world, and it just keeps getting better :-)
In China, having a baby is like a disaster. You live for your child, child is the center of your universe. I think it isn’t right.
The first thing I will teach my child is to take care of himself and make decision for himself. I don’t expect he never makes mistakes but being independent as soon as possible.
I will be having a baby in 2 months.
When people heard I was pregnant — particularly HK or Chinese women — they peppered me with questions. When was I going to cut my long hair? Why was I still wearing high heels? Why was I shopping for nice bags and clothes? Weren’t my priorities going to change? Was I going to get rid of my cat? Quit my job? Stop travelling?
It was so strange. Of course, having a child is a huge decision, and our lives will change. But why do people think that, as soon as you become a parent, you also become some boring, unfashionable person with no career and no life except to coddle your kids? (Particularly women).
There must be a balance. I’m not going to be out drunk at a nightclub while my baby is at home. (We’ve decided not to have a full-time, live-in “ayi,” since we want to raise our own child). On the other hand, I am still me. I’m not going to change my basic personality, hobbies, job (or cat!) just because I’m a mom.
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My husband and I still have our own friends after 5 years of marriage. We we both regularly go out by ourselves — he might have a drink without me, and I go for lunch with my friends without him. Though, in reality, we have less time to spend with friends than before.
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Re: non-parents. I have friends in HK — mostly Western, but a few HK Chinese — who made a conscious decision not to get married / have children,who are now in their 40s and 50s.
They have much more freedom that those with kids. They have more money to spend, and can jet off on vacations whenever they feel like.
But they aren’t like 20-year-olds. They don’t stay out all night at KTVs. I don’t think this is entirely child-related. Our tastes simply change. They would rather travel, buy art or wine, and eat at a good restaurant.